Yesterday broke me.

{This is going to be an informal post of a damn long rant}

I have been quite alright with this damned job since 2014. Even though I knew that once I signed that damn LOA, I will be severely underpaid for my qualifications since that day in December 2014.

I had started out in this company as a teacher, or trainee teacher-to-be. I love kids, I still do. However, once I had my own child in September 2015, priorities changed, passions changed. I wasn't loving my job anymore. My boss spoke to me and told me she could help me. Naively, I believed her. Now 4 months into this role, I see why. Nobody wanted this role. The pass admins came and left swiftly. The last one only stayed 6 months. Which was why I was needed.

Being her centre administrator is far from an easy job. Sure there are lull periods. But it is her as boss that makes it unbearable. As it is starting to show. She is a principal who runs 2 centres. So she is hardly in this centre 60% of the time. So basically, it is I who is running the damned school like I am principal but not paid enough for the amount of crap I have to take from her.

Yesterday, just because a parent was upset at her, she took it all out on me. She was not there when the parent was here, asking for "WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?!"I could only do so much to appease him. Can you possibly ask an angry customer to stay and wait for the boss when he really wanted to storm off?? I did try, he stormed off.

So did I not try hard enough? I did not want to anger him further.

It was only a few minutes later that she came in. Seeing that she was busy, I let her settle down wanting to tell her what had happen when she has settled down as it is not good news. Then she looked at her phone and apparently saw a missed call from that parent and started yelling at me saying why couldn't I have told him to wait and let her know that he came down? and said to me "YOU ARE MAKING MY LIFE MORE DIFFICULT."

what the freakin hell.

I make your life more difficult? Have you seen difficult? Difficult would be when I do not show up to work to run your damn school. Difficult would be if I was an administrator who did not have the integrity or even the motivation to do work when you're not around 60% of the time anyway. Difficult would be what I will definitely be making your life if I so choose to throw in my letter of RESIGNATION. BECAUSE THEN YOUR LIFE WOULD BE HELL. You will now have to run both schools without an admin on both sides. And then recruit a brand new person into this company who does not know shit about the system and everything and train him/ most likely a her from scratch, while trying to juggle both schools. Is this how you treat your one and only right hand? This is not the first time she has made me feel like I am such a fool/failure/stupid/incapable. It is very depressing really.

Being so unappreciated just makes me want to leave this damn company all the more. It is just one more push factor. I am underpaid PLUS working with an unappreciative boss right now. The only factor making me stay is the convenience of this work location, which is really close to my son's school and home.

I really do not know what to do now. I really want to leave, I am absolutely miserable working here. I feel like this will be the death of me. This is not how I want to live my life.